Today, I said goodbye to Facebook
I didn't really delete my account, for Facebook does not allow that. I suspended it. If I choose to come back, good-old-Facebook-data-center will have my entire Facebook existence, list of "friends", everything all waiting there for me like a dog waiting for it's master to come home. Or like a master waiting for it's dog, I should say.
Why did I make that choice? Do I not see the value of Facebook?
First, I want to make it very clear that I see the value of Facebook. I see it as well as anyone, I consider myself media-savvy, intelligent, and computer literate. Also very social at times. Facebook has been an incredible tool for keeping in touch with old friends, meeting new friends, and making the world seem like a smaller place. It's been a place to virtually engage in activities impossible in real life - such as having heart to heart conversations with a guy from Japan I've only met once in my life and playing Scrabble with my aunt. It has the potential to be a great experience that expands your world view, strengthens the bonds of friendship and family, and encourages understanding and social interaction.
Sadly, it also has a deep dark side to. This side is best described as the removal of "let me process it with God" time along with the replacement of real, genuine friendship with one way condolences, concerns and thoughts. Or, in simple terms, the compression of the range of human emotion, feelings, and interactions into one-line-at-a-time writing. Feeling bluesy? Post a couple thought-provoking quotes from great leaders of our country's past or country songs... either way you'll get a handful of people who believe you're depressed, suicidal, down - anything but the truth that you just felt like that portrayed your thoughts in that instant. People who want to help and are well-intentioned, but have no true relationship with you or understanding of the complexities of your life. Good emotions face this same compression. One passing happy thought, and the peanut gallery that the full extent of your relationships has been compressed in to is reading like a cheer squad to provide ice cream and cake.
At first it's all good
When you start out on Facebook, it's great. Your friends are, well, your friends - the first people you're excited to talk to. But it grows. It includes everyone you work with, have ever met at a concert, seen anywhere. People you never had a real relationship with until Facebook. And this is where it becomes more damaging. These are the compressed relationships that fail to represent the full span and scope of one's human character. When your Facebook grows to that place - for me the breaking point of my sanity was at around 500 "friends" - it's no longer a tool to keep your strongest relationships strong. Instead, it's a tool to gossip about your own life. To spread random, one line snippets about your world that your 50 closest friends will understand and support you in the way you need, and the other 450 merely ensure that any semblance of a private life you once had is gone. And truly, I'm amazed I'm one to complain about a lack of privacy - I tell everyone who wants to hear anything. Just talk to me, I keep no secrets. It's the "just talk to me" part Facebook gets rid of. Talk to me, I love to talk. But looking at my wall... that's really impersonal in my opinion.
These are just my choices
I'm not saying Facebook is bad. I'm not even saying I won't be back in one form or another, sooner or later. But I am saying we need to look and ask ourselves if it is strengthening our relationships as we intended? Or is it merely providing a peanut gallery and one-line tabloid gossip about your own life - written by you, yourself? These are big questions, and only you can answer them for yourself. The lack of a Mark Uhde when you search Facebook today will tell you how I chose to answer them, at least for now. - Mark